Although my last post was full of sunshine and rainbows in regards to Baby C, I promise that it's not always like that. Breastfeeding has definitely been a struggle for us and it's just finally starting to get easier. It's still not easy, but it's easier.
**FYI: this post is probably the most open and personal writing I've ever done here on this blog. I'm writing this because it's something that I've learned a lot from and I think it's something that could be helpful or at least relatable for other moms. If you'd rather not hear about the details of my breastfeeding experience so far, definitely skip this post. No hard feelings if you decide to do so.**
No one ever told me breastfeeding would be so hard to learn and get the hang of. I took a class before Baby C was born, but I couldn't really grasp any of the information at that time. I just didn't get it. I don't know if there was any way I possibly could understand until he was actually here and I was actually doing it. I just wish someone would have told me that it wouldn't be easy. I understand not wanting to scare women out of breastfeeding before they even get started, but I just didn't feel like I got any hint of the challenge that breastfeeding can be. I felt like everyone in the world was keeping this big secret because we've all heard it- "breast is best" and no one wants to scare a mother out of at least trying to breastfeed. I couldn't believe how many people came out of the wood work AFTER I had Baby C and was in those early days of struggling through feedings and told me that they tried to breastfeed but couldn't continue because it was so challenging. On one hand that made me feel better- I wasn't the only one who had a difficult time with this! On the other hand I was like, where the heck were you with this valuable information before?! I felt like the challenges came out of no where and were a total surprise. I didn't know that this was common.
Giving credit where credit is due: There was one thing that I read during pregnancy that I felt gave me a heads up that breastfeeding might not be so easy and was completely open and honest about it-
this series of posts written by Jenny on her blog
Geek In Heels. I've been a reader of Geek In Heels for quite some time now and I've always appreciated the honesty that Jenny writes with. It takes a lot of courage to open yourself up the way that she does, especially when it comes to such an emotional and sensitive subject. Even though she published that series of posts when I was still early in my pregnancy, it stuck in my head and I went back to her blog to find them and re-read them shortly after Baby C was born. Reading the story of her journey helped me cope immensely and definitely made me feel less alone.
Here is my story:
4 days after Baby C was born I was at my wits end. I sat upstairs in the nursery with him and both of us were frustrated and crying. Neither one of us knew what we were doing, but we knew we obviously weren't doing it right. Hubby G called our doctor's office and we got an appointment set to meet with the lactation consultant, Karen, later that day. Hubby G was being as helpful and supportive as he possibly could be and without anything directly being said, I could tell that he knew how important and critical this meeting with Karen could be. I was an emotional wreck- I wanted to be able to provide for Baby C so badly and it just wasn't working and I had no idea why. Baby C was hungry and his cries were breaking my heart with every passing minute. I knew I needed help if we were going to continue trying to breastfeed for even one more day.
The meeting with Karen turned everything around. Going into the appointment I was on the verge of tears and leaving it I felt a million times better. I hadn't realized that Baby C needed me to teach him how to latch on, and even if I had known that, I didn't know exactly how to do that. Karen guided me through it all and made sure to emphasize that my well-being was important too. If it hurt I needed to stop and try again so that Baby C would learn the right way to latch and I wouldn't be in pain. Meeting with her saved us. I definitely would have given up and quit if I hadn't had her help.
Even once I learned how to get Baby C latched correctly, there had already been some damage done, and that made nursing painful. Like, curl your toes and clench your jaw harder than you knew you could painful. Getting a correct latch made it a hundred times better, but I'll keep it real and tell you that I'm still dealing with some damage, even 2 and a half months later (I've talked to Karen multiple times and we're working on some solutions to get things healed up, so even though this healing is slow going, at least it's going!)
Once I got the whole latch thing figured out, I was met with another fun issue: leaking. While some women don't produce enough milk, I was on the extreme opposite end of that issue. I can't remember a day in the last month where I haven't had to change my shirt at least once because of leaking. And that's with nursing pads. Of course, this warranted another call to Karen and she gave me a few tips to help correct the problem and they definitely helped. See? What in the world would I do without Karen?? As frustrating and annoying as this problem has been, I try to keep it in perspective. Some mom's want to breastfeed so badly and just don't have the supply to do so. At least Baby C can nurse and get as much as his growing little body needs without any problem. To me, that's worth multiple clothing changes in a day on my end.
So as I was saying, I'm really glad that I've stuck it out and I'm really proud of myself for doing so. It has definitely gotten easier! And Baby C is obviously thriving and doing extremely well, and I'm so happy that I've been able to provide him with that.
It seems like the decision to breastfeed or not is one of the hottest topics in the cut-throat world of mommy judging. It's incredible how mean moms can be to each other sometimes. In most cases, all moms are trying to do the best they can and they often feel passionately about the choices they make for themselves and their children. I know that I try really hard to be the best mom I can be and feel passionately about a lot of the choices I make for Baby C and I- BUT I know that what works for us isn't necessarily the right fit for anyone else. Knowing first hand now how hard breastfeeding can be, I can definitely understand why it's not a good fit for some families. Just because "breast is best" doesn't mean that breastfeeding is a good choice for every mom- if it causes a lot of stress, that can be much more detrimental to both mom and baby's health than switching to formula. It seems like a lot of moms who are faced with this decision feel guilty if they decide that switching to formula is the best fit for their family- and that's without any outside opinions weighing in.
I definitely don't wish to scare any expectant new moms out of breastfeeding, but I do hope that sharing my experience (and the link to Jenny's experience on her blog) will help someone to know that if they find breastfeeding hard, they're not alone. And no matter whether breastfeeding is a good fit for your family or not, it's the health of your baby and yourself that is the most important!
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
